Geek Valentine

Not much of a post, just wanted to share these cute geek Valentine's. How cute are they?

{via}

Say Something Nice

I generally love all Improv Everywhere videos; they're hilarious! But, I thought this one was especially cute, probably because how sweet of an idea it is. I would love to be a part of one of their skits, though I'm not sure that I'd ever be able to keep a straight face during the actual performance. Still, it'd be fun to try.

Check out more of their videos and be prepared to laugh.

Unintentionally offensive test answers from young children

There are many things that I am looking forward to as a new teacher, but the tops has to be the incredibly random and accidentally hilarious comments from the students. I've already gotten some doozies and I can't wait for more.

I found this website, called happyplace.com, that compiles some of these unintentionally hilarious answers from students. I could spend hours upon hours on this site perusing and laughing until I peed my pants.

P.S. What would you do as a teacher that received these answers??

50 State Stereotypes in 2 Minutes

My friend sent me this video. It's absolutely ridiculous, but also completely hilarious and oddly true. Take a minute (or two) to watch it and laugh.

<br/><a href="http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/50-state-stereotypes-in-2-minutes/20wqjg8i?q=state+facts&rel=msn&from=en-us_msntod&form=MSNRLL&gt1=42010&src=v5:embed::&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="50 State Stereotypes In 2 Minutes">Video: 50 State Stereotypes In 2 Minutes</a>

I Am Andy McDonald

My cousin started a blog recently to showcase his comedic talent. He's been writing jokes, skits and blog posts for years as well as doing stand up. You should really check out his blog; it's hilarious!

One of my favorite posts:

10 New Ben & Jerry Flavors

Lindsay Lohan's "Caught Lohanded"
Ginger, craisins, a discounted five fingers of whiskey, and a smattering of court dates.

Charlie Sheen's "Rehabananas"
Coke flavoring, two and a half scoops of random nuts, and bananas... tons of bananas.

Senator John Boehner's "Raging Boehner"
Pure rich white vanilla, rubbed down in caramel coloring, and man tears.

WI Governor Scott Walker's "Classless RE: Unions"
A lovely combination of Wisconsin's best native ingredients, broken up with a single wiener at the center. Taken rectally. Best served at zero degrees.

President Barack Obama's "Yes Pecan!"
Packed with promise, theoretically thought to be the most delicious ice cream available, though no one knows as it melts and evaporates under even minimal atmospheric pressure.

Glenn Beck's "White Chalk-olate-Tea Party"
White chocolate, pieces of real fox, and tea leaves for predicting the inevitable apocalyptic future. Rewrite history with the special blackboard container!

Fox News Host Megyn Kelly's "Y, God, Y?"
Looks real good, but leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Includes chocolyte chyps, gyn, raisyns, and a hynt of mynt.

Muammar Ghaddafi's "Coffee Ghaddafi"
A hyper-caffeinated coffee flavor that never seems to want to leave, is filled with nuts, and only hurts you because he loves you so much. Carton topped with a cute little hat.

Barry Bonds' "Berry Suspiciously Delicious"
Powerful, full-bodied chocolate number, accented with raspberries, shrunken prunes and a huge melon flavor.

Donald Trump's "Dits & Pieces"
A colorful wealth of show, but very little to sustain you. This tower of empty calories is combed through with a touch of lemon to make your face pucker. A favorite among female model types. Featuring Ben & Jerry's first ever holographic carton top. It looks like it's there, but it's not!

Question of the week

My big sister is a little quirky and fun so it’s no surprise that she is a favorite barista at the coffee shop she works at. She just makes it fun to go in for coffee or a visit. Every week, Maggie asks all of her customers one silly, though-provoking question. She asks some off-the-wall, fun questions that make people smile. Some customers really enjoy playing and come up with some hilarious answers. And some customers take time to really come up with true responses. {Maggie said she asks everyone that walks in the door no matter their apparent mood. “They may just be having a bad day so I don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t play along,” she said.}

Some previous questions with a few favorite answers:

If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?

If you were a tree, what would you be? “If I were a tree, I’d be an Aspen, but sometimes I’m just an ass.”

What is your guilty pleasure? “It requires batteries.”

Who would you bring if you were stranded on a desert island? “The cast of Glee, but just the ladies.”

We were joking that next week she should just pull out a Rorschach ink blot. People already expect some kind of a silly question {most actually now ask her what the question of the week is} so how funny would it be if she just had a picture of an ink blot. ‘What do you see here?’ I would love to answer that.

{image via wikipedia}

If historical events had Facebook

I found this online and thought it was so funny that I had to share. I love that someone spent the time to think through these events and I would love to read more. Can you imagine them?

Read more posts here.

Soda or Pop? or Coke??

I saw this on the LAist and I just had to share it. What do you call those carbonated beverages you drink? I'm definitely a "pop" girl, which seems to be a little odd based on this map. I still don't understand why the South refers to any soda or pop as "Coke" though. It just doesn't make sense. And what would the "other" category say??

flaming disaster

the craziest thing happened the other night. i was asleep, it was about 4am, when i saw a flash of light in my bedroom. half-awake, i gazed around my room and saw that on the table at the foot of my bed, my iPod was a little ball of flames.

in my sleepy state, lacking all logic, i put out the flames. unfortunately, while doing so, i burned a hole in my comforter and got burn blisters on my fingers. {i had to smother my hand with neosporin and cover it with gauze pads before attempting to go back to sleep.} isn't that crazy, though? who ever heard of an iPod that transforms into a fire ball?

i'm really upset about all of this though. {and my hand hurts.} i'm just glad i was at home when this occurred. what would have happened if i was in the other room or out of town when this happened? i wouldn't have had a home anymore.

i think apple should at least replace my iPod, but i doubt that is part of their customer service policy.

@SenJohnMcCain & @Sn00ki continued...

Have you heard about @SenJohnMcCain's Twitter response to @Sn00ki on June 9th? It's hilarious.

@Sn00ki u r right, I would never tax your tanning bed! Pres Obama's tax/spend policy is quite The Situation. but I do rec wearing sunscreen!

{In case you don’t know, Snooki is a TV personality on the MTV reality show The Jersey Shore. The Situation is also a cast member. I’d like to say now that I have never watched the show.}

The Twitter reply was funny enough on its own, but my cousin wrote a Part Two of the conversation for Huffington Post. You have to read it.

shameless plug

my cousin recently started blogging for the comedy section of the huffington post online. and believe me, he's funny.

"Andy McDonald is a writer and comedian in the greater Chicago land area whose work appears mostly on his awardless sites FiveJokes.com and Zoltrog.com. His writing has also been featured at Second City as well as on Gawker. A former Comedy Central intern, Andy enjoys telling people he was a Comedy Central intern."

a few favorite entries are: 10 reasons why getting laid off is like getting laid, scott baio files for legal separation from lesbian hairstyle and other GOP amendments added to derail health care reform.

check him out.

dear curse words + dirty words

i recently came across an incredibly cute blog: thxthxthx. the writer, leah dieterich, writes one thank you a day. some are funny, some are witty and some are just plain cute. check it out, it's great.

Hilarious thoughts

I recently came across a list of '65 Random Thoughts Everyone Has Had.' {Don't ask how.} Some were true, some weren't; some didn't apply to me, some did; some were funny, some were hilarious. You have to check it out.

Some favorites:

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I really like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Yes, I Am From Wisconsin. No, I Have Never Been Cow Tipping.

For everyone that has been asking me lately, I found this hilarious video.

Blah, Blah, Blah

You never know when people are going to say the most ridiculous things. That's why I always carry my quote book with me wherever I go.

If someone were to read it, they most likely would not understand half of what is written and wouldn't think any of it was funny. But I laugh every time I read some of the quotes.

A few personal (recent) favorites:
"Did you ever see one of those grills?"
"She kicked me with her little shoe."
"We'll put Martin Sheen in the plants."
"Hey, are you wasted and macking on boys?"
"I thought that was a guy, but it was a mailbox."
"Slow your roll."

You didn't understand them, huh? Didn't think they were funny? I told you so.